Adult Children of Aging Parents - Part Two

What Your Parents Need & Getting Them to Talk

My Mom and Dad were born in the years between 1926 and 1945. This makes them part of the “Silent Generation”. Their lives were shaped by the great depression of 1927 and World War II. Scarcity of food, money and resources was the framework of their formative years.  This framework was the hallmark of a generation of self-sufficient, resourceful, and uncomplaining people. They didn’t see much need to talk about their lot in life. Rather they preferred to improve their situation with action. They put their heads down, worked hard and became the birth parents of the Baby Boomer generation.  While we baby boomers learned this great work ethic from our parents, we might be flummoxed by their reticence to discuss their personal finances, their health issues, or even their wishes for care.

As we discussed in part one of this series, it is very important to find out what our parents want in regard to their care.  I gave you a few tips about how to open up that dialogue and how critical it is to maintain an open flow of communication with your parents.   In Part Two of this series;   Adult Children of Aging Parents, you will find more tips and guidance about how to get your parents from the Silent Generation to talk about what they need.

Part Two Actions

In Part One I advised you to prepare an outline of topics that you want to discuss with your parents.  Here are some important questions to help you get started with those topics:

• What is the current state of your aging parent’s health? 
• Do they suffer from any chronic illnesses that might worsen as they get older? 
• What is the current state of their home?  Is it cleaned and maintained regularly?  Is it safe from trip and fall hazards? Is it secure?  
• Do you have the names and phone numbers for their primary physician and other health professionals?
• If you and all your siblings and other family members live far away from your parents, do you know their friends or neighbors that live nearby?  At the very least, do you have contact information for these people? 
• Do your parents have health directives in place and do you have copies?

You Are Not Alone

If you find yourself struggling with getting your parents to open up about what they need, take comfort in the fact that you are not alone.  If you are part of the baby boomer generation, it is likely that you grew up in a household where these types of matters were private.  It is not called the Silent Generation without reason!  I hope you are finding this series of ADULT CHILDREN OF AGING PARENTS helpful.   If you have comments or questions, you are probably not the only baby boomer out there who has the same ones.  Help be the voice of our generation, help your fellow baby boomers by leaving comments, questions or requests for more information here.   I will cover them all in future posts.

About Us

Jan Casella is an expert author and the co-founder and President of Family Matters In Home Care, Inc.

Family Matters In Home Care, Inc. serves those who wish to be cared for in the comfort of their own home.  Serving within a 50 miles radius of Grand Rapids, we are here to help you develop a solid plan to care for your aging loved one.